i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
