Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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