you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
