What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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