Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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