I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
