Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
