I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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