Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
