you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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