I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
