I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
