4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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