he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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