Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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