Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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