Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
