No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
