420 ftw
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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