I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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