return my video game
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
