I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
