I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
