i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize