i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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