I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will pee on everything he values.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
