thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
