just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My balls are so social today.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She told me I should be a condom model.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
