Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
When are your genitals available?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
