i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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