Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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