i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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