You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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