Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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