i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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