she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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