Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
