I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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