So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
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he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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