.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
