and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
