There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
