somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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