Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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