I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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