there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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