I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
