And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
