Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
