Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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