What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
