I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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