The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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