Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
