You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
