She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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