But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
