She's JV to your varsity
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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