And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this hospital has no fireball
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
