i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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