he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
