He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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