i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
