I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
